March Madness’ FAQ Guide

10. What does VCU own its dominance to?

Well there’s actually two winners that stick out in the field: their bench, and the First Four. In only two games this tourney has the opposing bench scored more than ten points, and only once has the Ram’s bench not scored more than twenty. Everyone knows a deep bench is essential to a tournament run, but nobody expected these guys not only to spread the points around amongst their starters, but their bench as well. Also, how could they not credit their success to the First Four? Not only would they not be in this tournament without the new bracket addition, but some people think they shouldn’t have even been in that. I bet they feel stupid thinking that, because I know I do.

9. How is Gus Johnson still alive?

Fifteen games have been decided by one possession, so it’s nothing shy of a miracle his blood pressure hasn’t failed him yet. I’m going to need to pull in a doctor to answer this one, so I’ll be back in five.

8. Whats the biggest disappointment so far?

Easy one, the same five commercials they keep playing. I’m tired of the meat ponchos, I’m not going to listen to Alec Baldwin, and for goodness sake, let me say “Like a good neighbor State Farm is there…with a new line of commercials.” But on a serious note I would say the fact that this tournament won’t decide the best team of the year. With an eight or eleven seed guaranteed in the finals and not even a one seed in contention, there’s no way that you could say, for example, VCU was the most outstanding team this year where in years past the odds of seeing a one and two seed in the finals was undeniable.

7. Did the Big East end up being overrated?

In the regular season the Big East was making headlines for all the right reasons, but with the early exits of Pitt, Notre Dame, Louisville, and etcetera, the thought of the conference being a little overrated had to be looming in your head for a little bit. With eleven teams starting out in the tournament, ten of them have lost to, get this, seven different conferences (two of them against Colonial teams). The reason I say that is to point out that it wasn’t just one conference’s style of play counteracting the Big East, it was seven of them. So were they overrated? I’m actually going to have to go with yes, they were a LITTLE overrated (don’t let me blow this out of proportion).

6. What’s a mid-major?

 Before this year, the definition in the Vanilla-Webster dictionary read “(sm-ALL con-fur-en-ss) n.- A conference with primarily two-three star athletes with talent big enough to maybe walk on to a big name conference team. also see NCAA Sacrificial Lamb”. Today, rather than big-name teams sticking out in bright colors, the bracket seems to be deeming a camouflage color with two Final Four teams coming of a “mid-major” conference. Not only is their play getting better, but the recruits are starting to spot the Final Four banners in gyms that house small teams like George Mason and Butler. So what’s a mid-major? You tell me.

7. Did the big east end up being overrated?

In the regular season the Big East was making headlines for all the right reasons, but with the early exits of Pitt, Notre Dame, Louisville, and etcetera, the thought of the conference being a little overrated had to be looming in your head for a little bit. With eleven teams starting out in the tournament, ten of them have lost to, get this, seven different conferences (two of them against Colonial teams). The reason I say that is to point out that it wasn’t just one conference’s style of play counteracting the Big East, it was seven of them. So were they overrated? I’m actually going to have to go with yes, they were a LITTLE overrated (don’t let me blow this out of proportion).

6. What’s a mid-major?

 Before this year, the definition in the Vanilla-Webster dictionary read “(sm-ALL con-fur-en-ss) n.- A conference with primarily two-three star athletes with talent big enough to maybe walk on to a big name conference team. also see NCAA Sacrificial Lamb”. Today, rather than big-name teams sticking out in bright colors, the bracket seems to be deeming a camouflage color with two Final Four teams coming of a “mid-major” conference. Not only is their play getting better, but the recruits are starting to spot the Final Four banners in gyms that house small teams like George Mason and Butler. So what’s a mid-major? You tell me.

5. What was the most surprising number one downfall?

Without a question, I’m going to have to choose seeing the Ohio State Buckeyes fall. Why is this unquestionable? Because 1) Pitt has never been a solid tournament team in recent history, 2) Duke getting Kyrie Irving back from injury, as crazy as this sounds, may have hurt them (I’ll get back to that), and 3) VCU had the Midas touch, and you knew that after they beat smeared Purdue, so a Kansas upset wasn’t as unexpected as it would have been, say, mid-season. Back to the Duke story, I am a firm believer in team chemistry, and to have a lead player waltz into an offense that has gelled together to create a deadly threat is a recipe for bad news. Nolan Smith and Irving just couldn’t balance the role that they split so well to begin the year, and that’s what lead to the downfall of the Dukies.

4. How close is Brad Stevens away from being considered an all-time great?

Right now, there is not a single question that he is a great coach, but what else would it take to put his name in the same sentence as Bob Knight, Coach K, and Adolf Rupp? Well let’s break it down. If he coaches until he is 65 at the same rate he is right now, he will have 812 victories and fourteen Final Four appearances, but in reality he probably won’t reach the second number (or so I think). If he hoped into a time machine and his fine career ended with his projected win number today, he would be in eighth place of all time. Now is that enough wins to consider him as a historical coaching icon? Maybe so, but also take into account that early in his career he would turn two star and three star athletes into a giant slaying team that went to back-to-back Final Fours in 2010 and 2011, and I believe that is why Brad Stevens has a shot to enter coaching greatness.

3. Up to this point, who’s the tournament MVP?

I don’t mean to hop on the Butler bandwagon, but to me it has to be Matt Howard of the Bulldogs. Right behind him is Kemba Walker, undoubtedly with him playing like, well, Kemba, but without Howard the Bulldogs would still have their name stuck in the first round, the second round, and maybe even in the Elite Eight. Just hear me out on this one, without his layup they go into overtime against a decent Old Dominion, and without his full court shot flop against Pitt they go into overtime, and without his rebound at the fifteen second mark, who knows what could have happened to that one point lead. Bottom line is that I could see UConn filling in the cracks without Kemba, but you can’t replace clutch performances at the end of a game.

5. What was the most surprising number one downfall?

Without a question, I’m going to have to choose seeing the Ohio State Buckeyes fall. Why is this unquestionable? Because 1) Pitt has never been a solid tournament team in recent history, 2) Duke getting Kyrie Irving back from injury, as crazy as this sounds, may have hurt them (I’ll get back to that), and 3) VCU had the Midas touch, and you knew that after they beat smeared Purdue, so a Kansas upset wasn’t as unexpected as it would have been, say, mid-season. Back to the Duke story, I am a firm believer in team chemistry, and to have a lead player waltz into an offense that has gelled together to create a deadly threat is a recipe for bad news. Nolan Smith and Irving just couldn’t balance the role that they split so well to begin the year, and that’s what lead to the downfall of the Dukies.

4. How close is Brad Stevens away from being considered an all-time great?

Right now, there is not a single question that he is a great coach, but what else would it take to put his name in the same sentence as Bob Knight, Coach K, and Adolf Rupp? Well let’s break it down. If he coaches until he is 65 at the same rate he is right now, he will have 812 victories and fourteen Final Four appearances, but in reality he probably won’t reach the second number (or so I think). If he hoped into a time machine and his fine career ended with his projected win number today, he would be in eighth place of all time. Now is that enough wins to consider him as a historical coaching icon? Maybe so, but also take into account that early in his career he would turn two star and three star athletes into a giant slaying team that went to back-to-back Final Fours in 2010 and 2011, and I believe that is why Brad Stevens has a shot to enter coaching greatness.

2. What does the tournament even decide?

Even though I asked it, I still like this question a lot, especially this year. With a three, four, eight, and eleven seed sitting as the last four teams in the big dance, you can’t possibly tell me that any of them was the best team this season. True, you may be able to convince me that any of them are the best team this minute, but to say they had the most success as a team this entire year would make you looks sillier than Donald Trump’s hair. I mean just look, VCU shouldn’t even be in this tournament, but now they’re thrashing through teams now. I would love to say this years tournament will crown the best team of the year, but I’m afraid this year it will only mean who got hot and caught the most breaks at the end of the season. Nonetheless, its still a cool banner to hang up in the rafters.

 

1. What the hell is going on?

OK I may have somewhat of an answer to everything listed above, but I can’t answer this question that enters everyone’s mind when they look at their mutilated bracket. VCU going to First Four underdog to Final Four? Butler going to another Final Four? UConn displaying their superhuman bodies and winning nine games in nineteen days? Ohio State going up against an inexperienced Kentucky team and losing? The Big East being thrown around like ragdolls before the team bus even gets cold? Sure, they don’t call it March Madness for nothing, but there’s more twist in this tournament then there are in an OJ Simpson trial.